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Got 'round to changing the plain template, at last. Hope you guys like the new look. If you have a homepage and I forgot to link you, please let me know. *smilez*

Perfectionism

\Per*fec"tion*ism\, n. The doctrine of the Perfectionists. 1. A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.

Friends have commented that I'm a perfectionist. A typical virgo trait, they say. Sometimes, I wonder what is wrong with wanting to achieve perfection. It is a challenge I constantly give myself. No, it does not mean that I always accomplish tasks to perfection, what it does imply, however, is that I set a high standard for myself and will myself towards it. Hence challenging myself and sometimes, to the irritation of others, my co-workers.

I know that there is no end to one's expectation of oneself, but I feel that it is only when you aim high that you may have the slightest chance of higher achievement levels. Like my one of my teachers once said with regards to exams... "An A2 is a good grade but never aim for it, because if you fall, you will end up with a B or C... there is no harm aiming for the top grade because when you fall, you might end up with an A2" another example would be what students are more familiar with... Remember the time when you had to do your NAPFA test? The standing broad jump? Not sure if it was a problem for any of you out there.. but I have short legs.. I'm fat. Yes, gigantic problem for me, I think. Teachers always say... "STOP LOOKING AT WHERE YOU HAVE TO JUMP IN ORDER TO PASS!!! Look far... and, you will jump far" To put it in a nicer way, "Reach for the moon, for if you fall, you fall among the stars"

Many a times, I believe that it is only when you are hoping to accomplish a task to perfection that you will put in the maximum amount of effort. It is human nature, I feel. If you allow yourself to do a job to 80% perfection, you will only put in 70% effort and achieve maybe 60%. Yes, that's a "pass" but, is that what we are looking for in life?

Like I always ask myself after each post, am I making any sense? I wonder. It's just me and my ranting, if I don't make sense, er... it's mainly my thinking process.. I'm a confusing person. I'll try harder in my next post.

Coincidence

Saw this in an email from a friend. It's part of her "signature" thing I think.

"Almost all man can take adversity. But to test a man's character, give him power" -- Abraham Lincoln

I was reading my previous posts when I recieved this email. I wonder if the quote applies to my 'Authority' post. *ponders*

Weather

The horrible weather is really getting to me. Goodness know what's with Mr Sun and the heat he sends to planet earth. He is being a little too generous these days. Just when you think things cannot get any worse, there's thunder, lightning and of course, rain. I used to think that in a hot day, I would love a thunderstorm... but I realised that the rain only made the day more humid and unbearable. *sigh*

Today... Don't know why. Feeling kinda down. Maybe it's 'cos I'll be moving to KL soon. I was looking forward to IMU and in a way, I still am. Every freshie looks forward to uni right? I'm just a typical freshie, I think. Hmm... Suddenly, when all the preparation is underway, the day I'll go away from home, be alone in scary old KL is getting nearer... Call me a coward, but yes, I'm scared.. I'm nervous.. Argh... And of course, all the nitty gritty details of the preparation is also getting to me.

Then........... there is the saying good bye. I think I have already said my goodbyes to my JC friends... Such a long time of not being in contact, friendship with most of them is not what is was before... There are the few who I am still close to.. but ya.. I think I have said my goodbyes. The more difficult parting would be with my RC friends. Like I have said in some other posts last time, we have been through so much together... some of us know each other since cadet days! It's difficult. Got to know that I can't be back for ULC. The feeling is horrible. After seeing the email, I thought the course would be something like old times... don't know if it is wishful thinking on my part..but ya.. was looking forward to it. But it looks like I won't be back. Argh. Maybe I can get back for ACOC. Know what? I don't know. I hope I will be.

Ahz, enough of my depressing post. Shall end off here. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Touched

After that bitchy post a few minutes ago, here's something on a significantly different note.

Hmm... I'm kinda touched. As to why... Let me try to explain...

I started this year as an official school based VI. I have been down to schools before.. but this is the first time it's an official thing... and I was posted to BWLSS. A little upset at first, I must admit. After a long time, I didn't feel much better... Yes, initially it was the unit... After a while, it's no longer them but me. I think I am just not suitable as a schbased VI. Not my cup of tea, I think. The cadets... Well, like I tell people that ask me... they have attitude problems, but they are nice people. Maybe because of my background, I tend to set very high standards, standards that people will need time in order to meet. No, I am not trying to be super stuck up here but, I came from a place where with a very rich culture, a history that goes back to the day when RCY was formed... and even before that. Well... let's get back to BWLSS

I went down today, after 2 weeks. They, knowing that I was leaving, gave me a gift. Well, it is not so much the gift that touched me... but what was said on the card. Somehow, it made me feel that I didn't waste my 7 months there. And, what truly made my heart go "aww..." was their performance today. Looking back, I was worrying and worrying and worrying when I was told that they will be the GOH for their sch's annual parade. No one would think they could have made it to the standards that they showed today. I am not saying that their drills are wonderful now... but what there was a lot of improvement... and what that showed me was that they put in the effort... :) That they show pride in what they do and have a sense of belonging towards the unit such that they wish to do the unit proud.

I never thought this unit filled with AP cadets will put in any effort for anything. The footdrill comp issue really made me lose faith in them... but I am glad they proved me wrong. Seeing this vast change in attitude in them was what really touched me. Like I always tell the cadets... What truly matters is not how you have performed in something, be it course, exams or even parades, it is the amount of effort that you are willing to put it that makes a difference, it was the knowledge and experiences you have gained by going through the particular acitivity that matter, it is going away knowing that you have left with more than you had when you first came that is important.

People might think they are a bunch of cadets that cannot make it... But me, I think they are great and I'm proud of them. I don't think any of them will have the opportunity to read this post... but well, I wish the best for them in this coming parade, I know they will do the unit proud. And, I wish the best for them in their future endeavours. :) To the sec4s and 5s, good luck with your Os... work hard, play after your exams k.. *grinz*.. to the sec3s, it's almost time for you to take over... I see great potential in many of you.. may the unit rise to greater heights with your leaderships... to the little sec 1s and 2s.. well..you still have time to play... appreciate that.. *grinz*... but I do know that you will assist your sec3s and make BWLSS RCY an even better unit than it is now.

Authority

\Au*thor"i*ty\, n.; pl. Authorities. 1. Legal or rightful power; a right to command or to act; power exercised buy a person in virtue of his office or trust; dominion; jurisdiction; authorization; as, the authority of a prince over subjects, and of parents over children; the authority of a court.

Life is strange. I have said this millions of times. Well, what makes life such a strange thing? The people we meet, I think. Long ago, when I was younger, I used to have dreams about attaining certain appointments and liked the idea of the power and authority I would have should I assume that appointment. I guess it is a common thing in young people. However, as we grow older, we realise that with appointments, not only do we have authority but also the much dreaded responsibility over those we lead. In one way or another, appointments lose their appeals. One even more important thing I learnt, was that no one pay any regard to your authority unless you have earned their respect.

Maybe I have misinterpreted what someone said to me. Maybe I am being oversensitive. But, I was under the impression that I have been accused of not paying regard to someone who is of a higher authority. Well, since I have no where to whine and voice out, and this is MY blog, here's where I will whine and bitch. Maybe I've got an attitude problem, hmm.. most probably I do. But, once again, this is my blog. If you've got a problem, bah.. don't read. No one is forcing you to. Haha. But whoever I am talking about doesn't know my url anyway, can't be bothered. Here's the lot of my bitching anyway...

1. If you want to use your authority, please find out if you have the authority in the first place.
2. If you expect me respect you because you hold an appointment, go tell Mr Sandman that you need to wake up, seems like you are in dreamland, Mr...
3. One phrase someone your seniority should know... Rank is something you wear, Appointment is something you hold, Respect is something you EARN.
4. I understand that you were trying to help but isn't it a little too much help when I didn't even ask for it?
5. I know the "chain of command" very well, thank you. And officially, you are not in it. Too bad.
6. Like I told you, from now till the 8th when I leave, I don't expect much changes. So, I'll probably not be changing my attitude towards you, no matter whether you have the world's backing or not.
7. You don't care a hoot how I feel, well, I don't care a hoot how you feel either. But Mr, as a volunteer, you no longer have the absolute authority over people like you did before. Now, it matters how people feel. If you think you are a leader and you don't care how others feel, thinking that you just want to get things done, well, you have failed and will most probably not succeed is accomplishing what's at hand.
8. Don't worry. I won't make things difficult for you. I've only got 2 weeks more. Can't be bothered. And oh, I'm not that childish.
9. Strange qn, you asked. "Are you leaving b'cos of the changes or what..." Well.. didn't I say that my studies are more impt? Sheesh. Learn to listen, boy.
10. Try to learn more about people. You have a problem with your interpersonal relationships, you know.

Hrmph. That's the end of my bitching. Closer friends, if you don't know why I'm so @)(&*$(&%(&%()#)(* today, you can ask me. If someone have something to say, please drop me an email ... that applies for all my posts lahz... People I don't know, please, don't KPO ok? The girl is pissed off... No, it's not hormonal imbalance...

Shopping Spree

Yippie!!! Me went shopping today!!! Hahahahahahahahaha. Happy with all the stuff I got, I think. Bought erm... *counting off* 2 blouses, 1 dress, 2 skirts, 1 pair of pants..

Yupz.. ME.. Skirts and dress. Hahahahahaha. Surprising right? Ok.. I'm turning feminine.. hahahahhaa.. I'm going crazy.

A Dozen A Day...

Just got my registration package from IMU today. :) One of the only days I'm at home this week and the courier service guy comes! Good timing. Well, I've been waiting for the package since I sent the acceptance form. So ya.. No more rushing to check the mails when I get home every evening. Yay!

I signed quite a few forms and here's something that caught my interest...

As a medical student at the International Medical University, I will:

- Treat every patient politely and with consideration.
- Treat my colleagues with professional courtesy and respect.
- Respect patients' privacy and dignity.
- Listen to patients and respect their views.
- Not give patients information that I am not qualified to give.
- Endeavour to do no harm to patients either by word, deed or omission.
- Develop and practice the use of my medical skills and knowledge to the best of my ability.
- Recognise the limits of my medical competence.
- Be honest and trustworthy
- Respect and protect confidential information.
- Make sure that my personal beliefs do not prejudice my dealing with patients.
- Avoid abusing my position as a medical student.

Yupz, that's it. 12 items to makes up the ethical code to which I am expected to abide. Makes sense, I guess. Was thinking though... a way to summarise it might be "Be well mannered, Don't act smart, Must work hard"

Ah... as 20th August draws nearer, I am getting more and more excited... and kinda nervous too. What will medical school have in store for me? I can't wait to find out. :)

Goodbye, 56

Yay!!! I'm finally on broadband!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more getting disconnected every 15 minutes, no more waiting till my hair turns gray !!! :) Ah... goodbye, 56K!!!

Updates

It's been a pretty long time since the previous post where I updated on what I'm going to do. Well... I'm no longer going to NUS. I will be going to IMU in KL to read medicine. Yupz. One of the crazy ones to actually choose a course where I'll have to slog for 5 years. But ya lah... IMU lahz... I wanna study med lor.. and Otago isn't a very safe option for me... Yupz. So... come 20th Aug, I'll be an undergrad med student... God bless me

A Different Perspective

It's strange how things you read make you think. I'm reading a book my brother recommended when he came back. A very good book, I think. It's "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. It's about a zookeeper's son, Pi, and how he survived 227 days on a lifeboat with a Bengal Tiger.

It isn't one of those books that starts giving you weird ideas after you're halfway through it. Rather, one part that set me thinking is right in the beginning, less than 20 pages into the book.

I think I'll share. You know.. there are always people that go on and on about the cruel nature of zoos, about keeping wildlife in captivity. They think that wildlife are happy because they are free, that these animals, when kept in a zoo, yearns for the freedom which have been taken from them when they were captured. However, will opening the doors to the zoos or bringing them back into the wild make these animals happy? Here's something from the book "If you went to a home, kicked down the front door, chased the people who lived there out into the streets and said 'Go! You are free! Free as a bird! Go! Go!' -- Do you think they will shout for joy?" The wild is to animals as caves are to humans. Will we be happier if we still live in caves, like the ancient cavemen? Well... I don't know. Zoo enclosures provide animals with all their needs. Since we have no way of communicating with them, who is anyone to say that animals in the wild are happier than those in captivity?

Does make you ponder... right?

Well, what it made me think about wasn't so much of wildlife... but more on this.. sometimes, we make assumptions about how others would feel and try to help them "improve" their lives or simply change their day.. thinking that what we do would have a positive effect on them However, who are we to assume what another person would like. Maybe the man that sleeps on a bench in the park is happy where he is. Does he want a bed and a room to sleep in? Who are we to say anything. Mankind are territorial and that bench IS his territory. Does blind man really want an operation to give him back his sense of sight? Does he truly want a change? Well............................................... I don't know.